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Why doesn’t anyone say “Thank You” Anymore?
Saying thank you is more than good manners. It is good spirituality. Alfred Painter
Anyone in my realm of loved ones knows of my normally flexible, laid back, happy-go-lucky heart and mindset. Indeed, there are only two things in this world that might incite an unrestrained paroxysm of righteous indignation: (1) mistreatment of one of God’s creatures, and (2) unmerited rudeness.
Lately, it seems, I’ve been overwhelmed with the latter. The point in question: Why doesn’t anyone say “Thank You” anymore? There is nothing complicated about giving someone a smile and heartfelt thanks. I wonder, what is so difficult about making that social connection, establishing familiarity, reassuring both parties of their personal value and blessing?
A couple of occasions come to mind:
We have new neighbors. I baked a batch of oatmeal raisin cookies, and took a platter of the warm cookies to the new neighbors as welcome and introduce ourselves. When he finally opened the door, he took the cookies from my hand, and in the middle of introducing myself, he interrupted and said “Okay!” How awkward, as my social graces fought with the fight or flight syndrome. I didn’t know whether to continue my introduction, or flee to the comfortable, warm, gentle safety of my living room with the locked front door.
My coworker and I used to receive flowers, cards, treats, gifts from parishioners and I always made a point of calling the parishioner, speaking to them, then sending a little note. My coworker would send them a text, if anything at all. Really? A text? What if they are unable to receive texts? Or read them? This practice embarrassed me so much, I finally asked her, “Why don’t you just call them and talk to them, or write them a note? Sending a text seems so impersonal, so cold.” The response was eye-opening. Apparently my coworker received so many gifts and cards she didn’t have time to thank everyone, was uncomfortable speaking directly with parishioners, and besides, she was, yes you guessed it, entitled to gifts.
It’s tempting to say that the inability to say thank you only applies to certain age group, but in my experience, this trend is ubiquitous, extending to those well into their forties. I’m occasionally so ashamed at another’s lack of etiquette and friendliness, that I overcompensate and become even more chatty-happy, annoying and pushing the individual farther into their protective bubble of disdain, fear, and social ineptitude.
So, why is this? Why don’t people say thank you anymore? I realize saying thank you requires a certain amount of humility—are babies birthing without the humility gene? Have entitlement issues trumped common courtesy? Has society coarsened such that we’ve become indifferent and detached? By being so cyber-connected have we completely disconnected socially?
Whatever the rationalization, I’m not going to hear thank you from a lot of folks, most of the time. Knowing this feeds my righteous indignation and moral superiority. I humbly admit to this. But my need to edit and change bad behavior is egocentric; it must not consume me, establish a foothold for the enemy, and steal all my joy! I’ve been studying on this for quite some time, and am trying to live and focus on the following:
Colossians 4:5 says “Be wise in the way you act with people who are not believers, making the most of every opportunity. When you talk, you should always be kind and pleasant so you will b e able to answer everyone in the way you should.”
I realize that “being wise in the way I act with people” includes not being disappointed when folks do not act appropriately or kindly. It is just as wrong for me to be indignant at rudeness, as it is for someone to be rude.
It is not my place to judge my neighbor (family, friend, coworker); only God can do that. I must accept whom God accepts!
At the same time, I mustn’t lower my standards of etiquette by becoming part of the norm. Who knows? Perhaps my neighbors are watching my behavior more carefully than I imagine—I must be the example, not the norm.
“God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So always do these things: show mercy to others, be kind, humble gentle, and patient. Get along with each other, and forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because the Lord forgave you. Do all these things; but most important, love each other. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity. Let the peace that Christ gives control your thinking, because you were all called together in one body to have peace. Always be thankful. “ Colossians 3:12-15
Thank you, thank you, thank you for letting me share!
Saying thank you is more than good manners. It is good spirituality. Alfred Painter
Anyone in my realm of loved ones knows of my normally flexible, laid back, happy-go-lucky heart and mindset. Indeed, there are only two things in this world that might incite an unrestrained paroxysm of righteous indignation: (1) mistreatment of one of God’s creatures, and (2) unmerited rudeness.
Lately, it seems, I’ve been overwhelmed with the latter. The point in question: Why doesn’t anyone say “Thank You” anymore? There is nothing complicated about giving someone a smile and heartfelt thanks. I wonder, what is so difficult about making that social connection, establishing familiarity, reassuring both parties of their personal value and blessing?
A couple of occasions come to mind:
We have new neighbors. I baked a batch of oatmeal raisin cookies, and took a platter of the warm cookies to the new neighbors as welcome and introduce ourselves. When he finally opened the door, he took the cookies from my hand, and in the middle of introducing myself, he interrupted and said “Okay!” How awkward, as my social graces fought with the fight or flight syndrome. I didn’t know whether to continue my introduction, or flee to the comfortable, warm, gentle safety of my living room with the locked front door.
My coworker and I used to receive flowers, cards, treats, gifts from parishioners and I always made a point of calling the parishioner, speaking to them, then sending a little note. My coworker would send them a text, if anything at all. Really? A text? What if they are unable to receive texts? Or read them? This practice embarrassed me so much, I finally asked her, “Why don’t you just call them and talk to them, or write them a note? Sending a text seems so impersonal, so cold.” The response was eye-opening. Apparently my coworker received so many gifts and cards she didn’t have time to thank everyone, was uncomfortable speaking directly with parishioners, and besides, she was, yes you guessed it, entitled to gifts.
It’s tempting to say that the inability to say thank you only applies to certain age group, but in my experience, this trend is ubiquitous, extending to those well into their forties. I’m occasionally so ashamed at another’s lack of etiquette and friendliness, that I overcompensate and become even more chatty-happy, annoying and pushing the individual farther into their protective bubble of disdain, fear, and social ineptitude.
So, why is this? Why don’t people say thank you anymore? I realize saying thank you requires a certain amount of humility—are babies birthing without the humility gene? Have entitlement issues trumped common courtesy? Has society coarsened such that we’ve become indifferent and detached? By being so cyber-connected have we completely disconnected socially?
Whatever the rationalization, I’m not going to hear thank you from a lot of folks, most of the time. Knowing this feeds my righteous indignation and moral superiority. I humbly admit to this. But my need to edit and change bad behavior is egocentric; it must not consume me, establish a foothold for the enemy, and steal all my joy! I’ve been studying on this for quite some time, and am trying to live and focus on the following:
Colossians 4:5 says “Be wise in the way you act with people who are not believers, making the most of every opportunity. When you talk, you should always be kind and pleasant so you will b e able to answer everyone in the way you should.”
I realize that “being wise in the way I act with people” includes not being disappointed when folks do not act appropriately or kindly. It is just as wrong for me to be indignant at rudeness, as it is for someone to be rude.
It is not my place to judge my neighbor (family, friend, coworker); only God can do that. I must accept whom God accepts!
At the same time, I mustn’t lower my standards of etiquette by becoming part of the norm. Who knows? Perhaps my neighbors are watching my behavior more carefully than I imagine—I must be the example, not the norm.
“God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So always do these things: show mercy to others, be kind, humble gentle, and patient. Get along with each other, and forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because the Lord forgave you. Do all these things; but most important, love each other. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity. Let the peace that Christ gives control your thinking, because you were all called together in one body to have peace. Always be thankful. “ Colossians 3:12-15
Thank you, thank you, thank you for letting me share!
