Hello.
My name is Pamela and I am a grateful believer and follower of Jesus Christ who struggles with depression, post traumatic stress syndrome, and the subsequent addiction to alcohol.
God has shown me that He wants me to be transparent with you because otherwise, you might miss the opportunity to witness firsthand the amazing power of His grace, His kindness, His love, His Mercy.
That’s what I am, a living, breathing, miracle of His mercy and love.
I want to talk to you about Mercy. Compassion. This time of year is so very difficult for so many. Especially those who don’t know Jesus—those struggling with poverty, addiction, abuse, no home…when our focus at Christmas turns from Jesus to the events and the parties and the presents, the Christmas story can easily be downgraded in our own hearts and lives and become just a nice Christmas picture. I hope that tonight, we might look upon it again through personal eyes, through a couple of lives that have been, and are being, restored through the mercy of Jesus Christ.
I don’t want to focus on my hurts, or to air my dirty laundry, but I do want to share some of my story so that you can see how God’s gift of Celebrate Recovery is in the business of embracing us with God’s mercy: a mercy that pities us, touches us, heals us, then prepares a place for us.
In a little while, I’ll share more about Celebrate Recovery, but for now, I want to focus on this question:
What is your compassion quotient?
As many of you know, I am a missionary kid. I grew up in Tegucigalpa, Honduras and witnessed first hand, in my parents a genuine love and compassion for others. My story is particulary poignant, because you see, I grew up knowing Jesus’ love. I never doubted it. So what happened? What turned a good girl bad?
Luke 10:25-37
[25] On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
[26] "What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"
[27] He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
[28] "You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."
[29] But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"
[30] In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. [31] A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. [32] So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. [33] But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. [34] He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. [35] The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'
[36] "Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"
[37] The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him." Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."
"A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead.
Yes, I’ve been there.
During a brief stint in the Army, back in the 80s, my barracks room was broken into by 4 very drunk, very young soldiers, who only had one thing to prove—women did not belong in the Army. They left me broken and lifeless in places not visible to the naked eye. My entire chain of command turned a blind eye, including my Chaplain, who attempted to provide “Hug Therapy” instead of kind and merciful Christian counseling and protection. I was quietly and honorably discharged from the Army, without any formal treatment other than scratch and dent first aide, after I signed several disclaimer documents saying that I would keep my mouth shut. Consequently, I began a battle with post traumatic stress syndrome and depression. In my crippled mental state, I spent the next 20 years in and out of a series of relationships with extremely violent and abusive men, and a real thirst for my favorite numbing agent: Vodka.
I certainly know how the poor man felt: broken, in pain, exposed.
In Jesus' story, both the priest and Levite see the wounded man and pass on the other side of the road. They see the man's need but choose not to help.
So, here we have two very high ranking men in the religious cadre, who don’t wish to defile themselves with an un-holy situation. Apparently legend of the hypocracy in the pulpit has been circulating since Jesus’ time!
And yet, in the law of those high ranking religious cadre, it is pretty clear about helping those who are in need, both man and beast, friend and foe—even if he is your enemy! They would have been aware of:
Exodus 23: 4-5: If you come across your enemy’s ox or donkey wandering off, be sure to take it back to him. If you see the donkey of someone who hates you, fallen down under it’s load, do not leave it there; be sure you help him with it.
"Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice,
or the Lord will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from him." (Proverbs 24:17-18)
"If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you." (Proverbs 25:21-22)
And, of course, the very verse the lawyer had quoted makes the priest and the Levite's obligations clear: "Love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord". (Leviticus 19:18).
Placing religious purity over helping a person who was perhaps still alive is gross hard-heartedness and selfishness.
And walking on the other side of the road displays a deliberate "I don't want to know!" attitude. The less they saw about the man's condition, the less they would feel obligated to help him. After all, he might be dead that then there would be nothing they could do. Our modern-day equivalent of this attitude is, "I don't want to get involved."
After years of living a double life, of hard working career minded woman during the day, and nights filled with alcohol driven brawls and beatings, I found myself in 2005, at rock bottom. My sister Charlotte had died of ovarian cancer, and I returned from the funeral to Ft. Myers, Florida and promptly tried to drown my hurt the best way I knew. Several months later, when I finally crawled out of the bottle and took a hard look at my surroundings: a run-down mobile home with grass growing through the floor, in a sinful relationship with a man who encouraged me to remain intoxicated, unable to hold down a job; I cannot lie. I wanted to die. I. Wanted. To. Die.
It was at that point, I realized, that my relationship with the Father had been severed. I’ve always felt that suicide was the most selfish and most sinful act against God a person could commit. To even have that thought, to even entertain the possibility was actually, in itself, my moment of clarity…that my life was nothing without Him. I was nothing without Him. The reason I felt like a big Nothing, was because I was without Him.
Praise God. Praise you Jesus, thank you for stepping in and calling my name. And thank you Jesus for sending your Samaritan disciples my way!
[33] But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. [34] He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. [35] The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'
I swallowed my pride, and called on my own personal missionaries: mom and dad. The nature of my illness was such, that I couldn’t comprehend the depth of their pain in losing Charlotte. I still struggle with the extent of my self-absorption that was enabled by my illness and addiction...I am so ashamed at my selfishness…inside, though, I knew the alternative was no longer an option. I needed to live, if only long enough to make amends for my unfortunate activities and sad choices.
I would like to tell you that it was all sunshine, peace, rainbows, and love since that moment of clarity 5 years ago in that dilapidated trailer in Florida, but it was a daily battle. I began attending church every time the doors were open, and did not rest until I had a quiet time with the Father each day. But something was missing…I wasn’t feeling it. It’s hard to explain, really… I was going through all the motions, making the lifestyle changes, but something was missing.
Now, I know, physically and mentally I was changing, but my heart was still broken. I had never taken inventory of all the bruises, broken bones, and pain…the catalyst for my illness. I had never known mercy or healing for all that trauma inside of me.
At this point in time, Celebrate Recovery found me…or rather Daniel led me to Celebrate Recovery. Y’all all know the romance version of the story so I’ll skip that for now. Sufficed to say, I began to feel God’s mercy immediately upon walking through the door of my first meeting.
I will never be the same again.
People that have known me for only a very short period of time see the dramatic and complete change of heart.
Let me tell you a little about Celebrate Recovery so that you’ll understand how the program dramatically changes lives. I believe God placed me in this program because He knew it would speak to me. God gave me this precious gift of recovery, because I am precious to Him.
Basically, Celebrate Recovery is a 12-Step, Christ centered recovery program, using the Beatitudes.
Most of you are familiar with secular 12-Step Recovery programs. I believe AA, NA, SA, OEA; all of the “A” programs all use a similar 12-step recovery program. The Celebrate Recovery 12-Step Program uses the same steps, but is Christ centered—and therein lays the life-changing difference.
The Celebrate Recovery program was designed by pastors Rick Warren and Jon Walker of Saddleback Church in California, to assist pastor Walker with his alcohol recovery program…not a program he was teaching…a program he needed for himself…for alcohol addiction.
I point this out because it’s important to realize that no matter your walk in life, your position in the church, we are all flawed individuals and easy targets for the enemy. Look at me! A missionary kid! With intimate knowledge of God’s promises, yet, just now at middle age, discovering His awesome power and love!
Yes, God sent my mom and dad, Daniel, and Celebrate Recovery as my Good Samaritans.
"But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him." (10:33)
The Samaritan traveler doesn't move over to the other side of the road, but when he sees the wounded man he takes pity on him.
Jesus is saying that Love, sympathy, and mercy are motivated by the need of another, while withholding mercy is essentially an act of selfishness, of self-protection.
"He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine." (10:34a)
The Samaritan binds up the wounds of the injured man, perhaps with his own head covering or by tearing strips from his garment. The Samaritan also pours on oil and wine as healing agents.
"Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.' " (10:34b-35)
The Samaritan's love of his neighbor was costly. He used his own supplies to cleanse and soothe the man's wounds, his own clothing to bandage him, his own animal to carry him while the Samaritan himself walked, his own money to pay for his care, and his own reputation and credit to vouch for any further expenses the man's care would require.
Love can be costly.
But if we have the means to help, we are to extend ourselves. The Apostle John taught, "If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth" (1 John 3:17-18).
You know what? I believe God had me in mind when He helped Pastor Warren design this program. God has seen me, this whole time. He has felt sorrow for me! He has felt loneliness for me! He has longed for my presence when I hid from everyone! He had mercy.
The rest of the story…I now try to show the same mercy toward others, as was shown to me—in 2nd Corinthians Paul says: He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us. We share in the many sufferings of Christ. In the same way, much comfort comes to us through Christ. I am now a leader of a women’s group for drug and alcohol addiction and life struggles at Celebrate Recovery. It is my daily prayer to show compassion and mercy to, especially girls and women, in all walks of life. Because God was so good to me, it is my honor and responsibility to be compassionate to others.
Yea! I’m “all better now” because my family, my husband, my God were merciful.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, with our wonderful Samaritan friend…
There wasn't an emergency room where the Samaritan could take the man, and just drop him off. Instead, he took him to a "motel" and cared for the man himself that night. He trusted the innkeeper enough to advance him money to care for the wounded man. And he promised the innkeeper to reimburse him for any additional costs when he returns from his trip.
The Samaritan's mercy is a generous mercy. A mercy that doesn't just keep the letter of the law, but its spirit as well. "Whatever he needs," is the limit of his mercy.
" 'Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?'The expert in the law replied, 'The one who had mercy on him.' " (10:36-37a)
Now Jesus makes his point. He asks the lawyer which of the three proved to be a neighbor to the wounded man, and the lawyer is forced to reply, "The one who had mercy on him."
Micah 6:8: "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
Mercy is required of us. Jesus commands his disciples very specifically: "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful" (Luke 6:36).
The lawyer began by asking for a definition of "neighbor" in order to justify limiting his love to his fellow Jews only.
Jesus makes it clear that our neighbor is whoever has a need. It doesn't matter who they are. Jesus' command to love our neighbor as ourselves knows no self-satisfying limits.
"Jesus told him, 'Go and do likewise.' " (10:37b)
As Christians, are we supposed to be “do gooders”? Yes. But! Our motivation for doing good must be love for others, an interest in meeting their basic needs…and having a heart of mercy that is moved by compassion.
I must ask myself, what we -- as disciples of Jesus -- are supposed to learn from this story. For me, the answer is to examine my own heart.
What motivates me? How much have selfishness and sticking to my own agenda robbed away the mercy that Jesus holds dear and wants to flourish in my heart through his Holy Spirit?
I may be efficient, but am I merciful? When cornered, do I put myself first, or do I put the needs of others first?
To me, Jesus' command, "Go and do likewise," means that I must value acts of mercy over personal productivity.
What does it mean for you?
What is your compassion quotient?
Be compassionate to someone this Christmas.
Thank you for letting me share.
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